Every once in a while, we setup goals and rules and we show discipline in order to keep up with our schedule and with our progress. New year resolutions, new beginnings, new learnings, new diets, new this and new that. I guess we have high hopes for these new challenges and we value them by presenting our best or most committed self. As time moves on, our resistance to complacency drops and we start to drop the standards we started with. We will skip that class, we will eat that extra chocolate, we will drink another pint, and we will not go for the run we have planned. But why do we do that? Do we get tired of making an effort or do we lose interest in the end goal so that it is not worth trying?
Today was the first day of this third lockdown and all our three children had to attend school from home. We thought we were prepared. After all we have been through this a few months ago. So we woke up the children and prepared them mentally that the room that they used to play or rest, would now be their classroom. They would have to use the computers we have in the house, not for games this time but for homework. Instead of being taught and having things explained to them in person and according to their learning capability, they would have to read instructions in emails and other electronic documents, or sometimes even listen to the instructions through an audio clip. Not much could go wrong, on the first day. They did their homework, handed it in, a few hours later received feedback, and when they got bored they started fighting with each other. I guess that would be their play time.
We are lucky because our three young children can find a game and play amongst themselves. And we are even luckier that our children have that creativity and comradery to play with their siblings. I cannot imagine, actually I keep hearing about it, homes where there is only one child or the children don't get along or the children have a big age difference. What do the children do? How do they play? How do they satisfy their need to communicate? Maybe on the first day, the parent will become the referee between the sibling that fight, or the parent will become the child-friend and will play with their children. Of course that provided that the parents don't work, or they work from home with enough flexibility to carve out large enough time slots to occupy their children.
If we fast-forward this scenario by a few days or even a couple of weeks, the picture we will face is going to be quite different. After all, we lived through it before, we are experienced. The rules start to bend, the discipline diminishes, the exhaustion overtakes and the house becomes a nest of creatures that grunt instead of talk. The children would be tired of the same routine, would be missing their friends and the freedom of the playground, they would be missing the physical exercise that kept them fit and sane, and they are running out of games to play within the four walls of their room. The parents would be working from home, getting haemorrhoids from sitting on their chair all day, they would be snappy and irritable towards their children's math questions or their spouse's domestic asks. The discipline diminishes, the determination has almost disappeared. Everyone in the house needs a break, and nobody gives a damn about school.
My older daughter loves school. Always has, always will. Top student in her class. My younger daughter just started to blossom in school, and started to transform into a top student. She is in the process of loving what school life offers and how exciting that can be. My youngest, my son, has always been a very relaxed and esoteric individual. He is more of a running-after-a-ball kind of guy, but he is smart enough to be a good student without much effort. As a matter of fact, he always puts minimum effort in all his school work, and he believes that this is all he has to do. These children are growing up in an environment with both their parents in the house, with clean clothes, in a warm house, with plenty of food on the table, with electronic equipment to support their new way of learning, and with parents that have enough knowledge to help them with questions or their homework. I am guessing that not all homes are like that. Actually I am betting that we are a statistical minority and that most of the homes are not ticking all these boxes.
The initial estimates for the latest lockdown is for about two months. Two months. I don't expect that we will keep the same pace for these months, and that the children will not be able to support and be supported in this system. This is a cruel and lonely system that generates domestic violence, mental health issues and depression. This is a system that does not support the local economy and puts the livelihood of families at risk. Did I mention depression already? We are all bracing ourselves for impact. The adults regarding their jobs, their income, their way of life, their social needs. The children regarding remaining children, regarding their education, regarding their physical health, regarding their mental health. We are bracing ourselves for impact and the only thing we can do is to hold each other and try to keep everyone healthy. The school rules have gone out the window and there is no more room for additional stress and discipline. We are being asked to get by. We are being asked to sacrifice our lives and the lives of our children by barely getting by.
It may be hard, but we have to stay strong. We have to protect those that need our protection to survive. We should sacrifice some of our breaks to play with our kids, or take them for a run, or explain to them how column multiplication works. We should try and bite our tongues before responding with aggression to their nagging or their fighting. We should let them watch a little more TV and maybe let them play an extra game on the computer. We should also try to inspire them with new ideas, we should try to introduce them to worlds they don't know, and we should definitely roll on the bed and tickle them until they are out of breath.
Our children need us, and only us. We are their world and their guiding light. And even if we hurt their sensitive hearts, they still think we are giants and we know everything. We need to take this lockdown as another opportunity to spend more time with our children. To teach them all those useless things that we know. All we need is patience and mental clarity. I guess we need to be well ourselves first, and then we can be the guides for the youngsters. So let's do that. Let's leave the bottle and the pint in the corner of the room, let's take care of our bodies and our health, let's even learn how to cook along with the children. Let's exercise, take long walks in the park or the forest, take a ball and kick it around in the muddy park, go for a bicycle ride, walk the dog. Let's keep the fog away from our minds so that our light will be bright and the children will follow us.
Always remember that there are people around to help, and always remind people that you are there to help. Maybe not to hug or have lunch or have a coffee, but certainly to help.
Be dauntless and great. This too, shall pass.
